treasured friend

I met a girl
a stand out
with curly hair
beautiful curly hair

I saw her at
church
kroger
walgreens

ever impressed by her

family
authenticity
energy
curiosity
encouragement
creativity
heart

and her beautiful curly hair

she will always stand out

not just because of her
beautiful curly hair

because of her ability to live a life
overflowing with Jesus

we will miss seeing this girl
her beautiful curly hair
her beautiful family

but we know the next
church
kroger
walgreens

just got a treasure

New Things

yesterday
the first born turned 19
Low key

soon 19 will be moving out
college life beckons

the mrs. still sees the little boy
who couldn't say Rs

a little sadness trys to sneak in
unsuccessfully
pride has left no room

good choices made

goals set

work ethic solid

friendships positive

19 is ready

the mrs. hope's she is too

Go kiss your grandma, y'all. Hug her tight.
Grandpa, too.

If you have a great grandparent,  go spend some time with them. Ask them to tell you about when they fell in love, or if they ever did something wild & crazy.

Sit next to them if they can't tell stories.
Hold a hand.

If you don't still have yours here on earth...

Go find one. Go find five.

Read a book, drink some coffee. Tell some old person about your day.

I bet you won't regret it.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/name/marian-willett-obituary?pid=1000000185982483

mind the gap

let's pretend there wasn't a 3 year gap

you would know that 

jobs change

pets die

kids grow

our church home changed.

twice.

& we are better because we have

three buildings we are comfortable worshiping

sweet Jesus in 

the mrs. now spends her child free days

with other people's children.

surprisingly fulfilled

the professor is in the trenches

relying on the unreliable

to support our

little

perfectly dysfunctional

family

and still finds ways to

bless even some of the worlds

strangest strangers

the firstborn surpasses expectations

of which there are plenty

he bought a car

shaves his face

looks like a man

he has faced man sized lessons

& through the disappointments

& the trials

the hope is that his heart is stronger because of it

the mouth

oh

the

mouth

his quick wit makes us laugh 

every 

day

the oldest 10 year old around

still wearing that heart on his sleeve

unapologetically

our darling

sweet like fresh pure honey

when she wants to be

other times

a feral cat

she can light up a room

may be stronger &

more stubborn than her siblings 

ever

will 

be

two four-legged members 

of our family

crossed into heaven

on what the mrs. hopes was a rainbow

friends come 

friends go

our home is not as open

as it once was

life is so busy

trying to be "in the moment"

is such a fleeting goal

& goals aren't on the mrs.'s list

of things she excels at

(that list is quite short actually

with self doubt at the top, followed quickly with

self deprecation)

so as always we put

one foot in front of the other

on our way

even if we aren't sure where it will take us

we just want to move forward

what about you?

Animal magnetism

quite literally, perhaps forever the mrs. has always attracted animals

big
little
hairy
fuzzy
clean
hurt
loud
adorable
&
ugly
as
sin

you name it, they find her.

in the yard. in the street. under the house...
some even come right up to the
front
door.

they all somehow know she will bring them in,
feed them,
and do her darnedest to find their people.
when she does, its great.
when she doesn't there is the inevitable trip to animal control - where they always say "you again?!" because really didn't believe it was possible for one person to come in contact with so many lost or stray animals.

and, neither did she, neither did she.

snow, not just another four letter word

when the phone rings before six in the morning it means there has been an accident or tragedy of some kind

today the 'tragedy' was snow

snow...
on the ground...
in tennessee...

not unheard of, but not usual enough to be familiar & so things slow to a halt as we all stare at the beauty falling around us
& wait for the call

the ringing phone brings a cheery (all too cheery for the hour) message of the laughable (to the mrs.) school cancelation
that inevitably occurs when anyone on the news (weather professional or not)
dares to predict
snow
even the slightest possibility...

need she remind you that this place is not her home? (in the spiritual sense & the literal sense for which she now refers) even if it's comfortable now, it is not her home.

home is cattle & corn - as far as the eye can see
where winters draw on forever & snow covers everything
with wind so sharp & bitter it's sting stays vivid in memory
& where school is on - no matter the weather

& even if the mrs. will never understand how
two powdery inches of snow
(that will be gone by the days end)
can amount to the need to close school

she is learning to embrace & enjoy it

forgiveness & mercy

as the mrs. sat sipping her first cup of coffee this morning, she was acutely aware of all the things that would still be begging for her attention tomorrow

(the laundry
mounded up in the
newly acquired pampasan chair
will not get folded in a timely manner
the bed probably wont get made, or even straightened
toys will remain scattered about the floor
patiently waiting for the next
barefooted victim
ouch)

today's "to-do" list is short
not because her house is almost clean,
or because the mrs. found an amazing project on pinterest,
or there is an appointment of some kind to go to...

but because her life depends on it, her freedom depends on it

the mrs. is determined to let go of the guilt that holds her back, keeps her from
living the life god so desires for her... a life free in christ, because of his loving sacrifice for her!
the mrs. will accept the forgiveness and mercy that god gives abundantly and wants all of his children to receive

abandoning her freshly poured, second cup of coffee
quietly she retreats to her favorite spot, a corner chair
bathed in precious sunlight
she curls up
her eyes close

envisioning herself in a large dark room
a warehouse, probably
every movement's noise amplified by the complete emptiness of the space

in her hands the mrs. cups her guilt, her pain, her fears
things never spoken of
because who would know where to begin

tears flowing, the ugly truth pouring out of a broken woman

she makes her envisioned self move forward

her form is indistinguishable in the dark that has swallowed her
the time it takes to reach her destination is an eternity
she has traveled miles in this room

finally

greeted at the throne
with acceptance
warmth of glowing innocence 
outstretched arms
a face that she can not bring her eyes to look upon
she falls to her knees

the weight of her burdened hands, burdened soul
suddenly, forcefully overwhelms her, repulses her
she releases her burden at his feet
she sobs mournfully at its impurity

relief washes over her
exhausted from emotion
covered in peace
she falls asleep...

the honk of a passing car is enough to wake the mrs. still curled in her chair
although she is certain she has been there for hours, the second hand on her clock insists
only fifteen minutes have passed since she made her retreat.

her head is clearer than it has been in awhile - her soul is lighter than it has ever been...
free actually

this is the first time she has accepted this gift & experienced true freedom
she closes her eyes once again & whispers "thank you Lord"