forgiveness & mercy

as the mrs. sat sipping her first cup of coffee this morning, she was acutely aware of all the things that would still be begging for her attention tomorrow

(the laundry
mounded up in the
newly acquired pampasan chair
will not get folded in a timely manner
the bed probably wont get made, or even straightened
toys will remain scattered about the floor
patiently waiting for the next
barefooted victim
ouch)

today's "to-do" list is short
not because her house is almost clean,
or because the mrs. found an amazing project on pinterest,
or there is an appointment of some kind to go to...

but because her life depends on it, her freedom depends on it

the mrs. is determined to let go of the guilt that holds her back, keeps her from
living the life god so desires for her... a life free in christ, because of his loving sacrifice for her!
the mrs. will accept the forgiveness and mercy that god gives abundantly and wants all of his children to receive

abandoning her freshly poured, second cup of coffee
quietly she retreats to her favorite spot, a corner chair
bathed in precious sunlight
she curls up
her eyes close

envisioning herself in a large dark room
a warehouse, probably
every movement's noise amplified by the complete emptiness of the space

in her hands the mrs. cups her guilt, her pain, her fears
things never spoken of
because who would know where to begin

tears flowing, the ugly truth pouring out of a broken woman

she makes her envisioned self move forward

her form is indistinguishable in the dark that has swallowed her
the time it takes to reach her destination is an eternity
she has traveled miles in this room

finally

greeted at the throne
with acceptance
warmth of glowing innocence 
outstretched arms
a face that she can not bring her eyes to look upon
she falls to her knees

the weight of her burdened hands, burdened soul
suddenly, forcefully overwhelms her, repulses her
she releases her burden at his feet
she sobs mournfully at its impurity

relief washes over her
exhausted from emotion
covered in peace
she falls asleep...

the honk of a passing car is enough to wake the mrs. still curled in her chair
although she is certain she has been there for hours, the second hand on her clock insists
only fifteen minutes have passed since she made her retreat.

her head is clearer than it has been in awhile - her soul is lighter than it has ever been...
free actually

this is the first time she has accepted this gift & experienced true freedom
she closes her eyes once again & whispers "thank you Lord"