Sunday, August 5, 2018

treasured friend

I met a girl
a stand out
with curly hair
beautiful curly hair

I saw her at
church
kroger
walgreens

ever impressed by her

family
authenticity
energy
curiosity
encouragement
creativity
heart

and her beautiful curly hair

she will always stand out

not just because of her
beautiful curly hair

because of her ability to live a life
overflowing with Jesus

we will miss seeing this girl
her beautiful curly hair
her beautiful family

but we know the next
church
kroger
walgreens

just got a treasure

Saturday, August 4, 2018

New Things

yesterday
the first born turned 19
Low key

soon 19 will be moving out
college life beckons

the mrs. still sees the little boy
who couldn't say Rs

a little sadness trys to sneak in
unsuccessfully
pride has left no room

good choices made

goals set

work ethic solid

friendships positive

19 is ready

the mrs. hope's she is too

Friday, July 7, 2017

Go kiss your grandma, y'all. Hug her tight.
Grandpa, too.

If you have a great grandparent,  go spend some time with them. Ask them to tell you about when they fell in love, or if they ever did something wild & crazy.

Sit next to them if they can't tell stories.
Hold a hand.

If you don't still have yours here on earth...

Go find one. Go find five.

Read a book, drink some coffee. Tell some old person about your day.

I bet you won't regret it.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/name/marian-willett-obituary?pid=1000000185982483

Thursday, July 28, 2016

mind the gap

let's pretend there wasn't a 3 year gap

you would know that 
jobs change
pets die
kids grow

our church home changed.
twice.
& we are better because we have
three buildings we are comfortable worshiping
sweet Jesus in 

the mrs. now spends her child free days
with other people's children.
surprisingly fulfilled

the professor is in the trenches
relying on the unreliable
to support our
little
perfectly dysfunctional
family
and still finds ways to
bless even some of the worlds
strangest strangers

the firstborn surpasses expectations
of which there are plenty
he bought a car
shaves his face
looks like a man
he has faced man sized lessons
& through the disappointments
& the trials
the hope is that his heart is stronger because of it

the mouth
oh
the
mouth
his quick wit makes us laugh 
every 
day
the oldest 10 year old around
still wearing that heart on his sleeve
unapologetically

our darling
sweet like fresh pure honey
when she wants to be
other times
a feral cat
she can light up a room
may be stronger &
more stubborn than her siblings 
ever
will 
be

two four-legged members 
of our family
crossed into heaven
on what the mrs. hopes was a rainbow

friends come 
friends go
our home is not as open
as it once was
life is so busy
trying to be "in the moment"
is such a fleeting goal
& goals aren't on the mrs.'s list
of things she excels at
(that list is quite short actually
with self doubt at the top, followed quickly with
self deprecation)

so as always we put
one foot in front of the other
on our way
even if we aren't sure where it will take us
we just want to move forward

what about you?

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Animal magnetism

quite literally, perhaps forever the mrs. has always attracted animals

big
little
hairy
fuzzy
clean
hurt
loud
adorable
&
ugly
as
sin

you name it, they find her.

in the yard. in the street. under the house...
some even come right up to the
front
door.

they all somehow know she will bring them in,
feed them,
and do her darnedest to find their people.
when she does, its great.
when she doesn't there is the inevitable trip to animal control - where they always say "you again?!" because really didn't believe it was possible for one person to come in contact with so many lost or stray animals.

and, neither did she, neither did she.


Saturday, February 2, 2013

snow, not just another four letter word

when the phone rings before six in the morning it means there has been an accident or tragedy of some kind

today the 'tragedy' was snow

snow...
on the ground...
in tennessee...

not unheard of, but not usual enough to be familiar & so things slow to a halt as we all stare at the beauty falling around us
& wait for the call

the ringing phone brings a cheery (all too cheery for the hour) message of the laughable (to the mrs.) school cancelation
that inevitably occurs when anyone on the news (weather professional or not)
dares to predict
snow
even the slightest possibility...

need she remind you that this place is not her home? (in the spiritual sense & the literal sense for which she now refers) even if it's comfortable now, it is not her home.

home is cattle & corn - as far as the eye can see
where winters draw on forever & snow covers everything
with wind so sharp & bitter it's sting stays vivid in memory
& where school is on - no matter the weather

& even if the mrs. will never understand how
two powdery inches of snow
(that will be gone by the days end)
can amount to the need to close school

she is learning to embrace & enjoy it












Thursday, January 31, 2013

forgiveness & mercy

as the mrs. sat sipping her first cup of coffee this morning, she was acutely aware of all the things that would still be begging for her attention tomorrow

(the laundry
mounded up in the
newly acquired pampasan chair
will not get folded in a timely manner
the bed probably wont get made, or even straightened
toys will remain scattered about the floor
patiently waiting for the next
barefooted victim
ouch)

today's "to-do" list is short
not because her house is almost clean,
or because the mrs. found an amazing project on pinterest,
or there is an appointment of some kind to go to...

but because her life depends on it, her freedom depends on it

the mrs. is determined to let go of the guilt that holds her back, keeps her from
living the life god so desires for her... a life free in christ, because of his loving sacrifice for her!
the mrs. will accept the forgiveness and mercy that god gives abundantly and wants all of his children to receive

abandoning her freshly poured, second cup of coffee
quietly she retreats to her favorite spot, a corner chair
bathed in precious sunlight
she curls up
her eyes close

envisioning herself in a large dark room
a warehouse, probably
every movement's noise amplified by the complete emptiness of the space

in her hands the mrs. cups her guilt, her pain, her fears
things never spoken of
because who would know where to begin

tears flowing, the ugly truth pouring out of a broken woman

she makes her envisioned self move forward

her form is indistinguishable in the dark that has swallowed her
the time it takes to reach her destination is an eternity
she has traveled miles in this room

finally

greeted at the throne
with acceptance
warmth of glowing innocence 
outstretched arms
a face that she can not bring her eyes to look upon
she falls to her knees

the weight of her burdened hands, burdened soul
suddenly, forcefully overwhelms her, repulses her
she releases her burden at his feet
she sobs mournfully at its impurity

relief washes over her
exhausted from emotion
covered in peace
she falls asleep...

the honk of a passing car is enough to wake the mrs. still curled in her chair
although she is certain she has been there for hours, the second hand on her clock insists
only fifteen minutes have passed since she made her retreat.

her head is clearer than it has been in awhile - her soul is lighter than it has ever been...
free actually

this is the first time she has accepted this gift & experienced true freedom
she closes her eyes once again & whispers "thank you Lord"

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

the space between

no, the mrs. has indeed not forgotten how to type. although the absence was just long enough to warrant multiple attempts at signing in to blogger... most author's would apologize and give a succinct list of (perhaps worthy, likely not) excuses for such a lengthy intermission, very predictable.
not the mrs. she will, in fact, pretend that the calendar skips from October 2011 to September 2012.

except, time has a way of changing things, and things have changed. as if looking through the borrowed spectacles of a friend, the view is familiar, but distorted - if even slightly.

(not the basics.
family unit, happily intact.
the mouth's adhd still reigns (but not supreme)
the darling is still darling.
and the firstborn, well, is as handsome as he is talented smart, kind and important (sorry, wouldn't want to give him an ego, or complex of some sort...)
the four legged community doubled, while the contents within the saltwater tank remained the same for the second year in a row (and much to the surprise and relief of certain members of the family).)

new food vocabulary was added to our menu. let's just say gluten free isn't as terrifying as it seems at first, but it can be challenging, even after ten months.

multiple ambulance rides gave the mrs. a chance to meet and learn the names/faces of the local emergency responders and children's hospital staff, while the darling proved to be as darling as ever while being picked, prodded and scanned and eventually diagnosed with epilepsy. seriously, its serious but not that serious.

clear as mud. just like dealing with neurology staff.

we said goodbye (much too soon) to 'the favorite' member of our extended family. and even if it would have been 200 years from now, it would still be too soon. there is certainly a hole in many a heart, that could only be filled with the love and joy 'the favorite' could give...

the little white house was covered by the hand of the god we love as a tornado made it's mark on our neighborhood.

yes really.

lightening mercifully cleared the packed fields of the youth baseball complex across the street, minutes before the unpredicted and unexpected funnel descended upon us. occupied cars were flipped.
the neighbor lost the back roof of his home. other neighbors lost shingles and fences.
beautiful, deeply rooted trees were toppled. others were snapped or lost branches.
a branch that pierced the shell of this house was the most extensive structural damage this home received.

it is easy to joyfully deal with the mess
the slight but widespread damage
the loss of our things
knowing we could have lost much more that night at the dinner table.

our church family came together - once again - to help us achieve normalcy at a pace that would have been impossible without them. and all impossible without him.

summer came and with it brought an opportunity for the professor to be employed by our church. even just for the summer, we gained so much more than a pay check.

the firstborn has sustained the normal bumps and bruises of growing up, and now changing school districts. (do not get the mrs. going, she can stay on that soapbox forever)

summer went, celebrated by a weekend at the lake. a teaser for heaven in the opinion of the mrs. but only if there is a boat and a dock and plenty of fish waiting to be caught, but not too easily!

school has now started, routines are set.
there are hours during the week where there is only one occupant in the little white house
she hardly knows what to do in the quiet she is left with.
so
the spotify playlist is long and varied
the speakers are often turned up louder than she would ever let the professor
she sings at the top of her lungs and dances around like a whirlwind
knowing that the hand of god will protect her even if she is unaware that she needs protecting







Monday, October 17, 2011

blog for a cause

there is a cause very close to the heart of this family.

it recently became very clear to the mrs. & the professor that there was something 'going on' with the mouth. not just typical kid stuff, but internal issues that were beyond what the mrs. & the professor, as parents, were capable of guiding the mouth through on their own. so the mrs. & the professor met with doctors and got confirmation of the suspected cause.

adhd.

whew.

not the end of the world, even though at times it seems like it is.

there is light at the end of the adhd tunnel, many ways to get there, and no matter what happens our god is still good. thanks to adhd, the prayer life at the little white house has never been as strong as it is right now. eucharisteo! (google it)

so do this little family a favor and take a few minutes to learn more about adhd, this is national adhd awareness week, after all.

http://www.adhdawarenessweek.org/

thank you,
-the mrs.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

something beautiful

if you look past the dishes piled up in the sink, to the window overlooking the neighbor's used truck lot house, you might think that the mrs. tried (and failed) to be creative by imitating something she saw in a disgustingly-over-priced-obviously-faked-antique(but-you-still-want-everything-in-it-for-some-reason) catalogue. a small smooth stone with the word 'share' neatly printed in black sharpie sits on the window ledge.

although many of the mrs. creative endevors are indeed failures, this was not in the category of 'creative endevor'.

more correctly labled 'divine inspiration', the rock is a reminder that the things the mrs., the professor and their offspring have been blessed with are not to bless just this one family. but to potentially bless everyone the family happens to know.

the first two years in the little white house were lovely... but solitary. aside from family, the total number of times 'company' was invited over is an embarassing total of once. once in two years.
sure. sure.
there are a miriad of reasons excuses for why no one was ever invited over. settling in. crazy work schedules. no dishwasher. kitchen remodel. be assured the list could go on. and on.

then came the rock. a simple assignment from a woman's retreat the mrs. attended. pick a rock. wait openly for your message. lable the rock. indeed a message was laid heavily on the mrs. heart. of how
she might not have alot, but what she has is amazing. on paper it is not much. the monetary value is laughable modest. but there is so much more to a life than its monetary value.

how do you price a smile?
a laugh?
what price do you put on a new friendship?
a seasoned one?

you don't. you can't. because honestly, there would never be enough money to afford these things, and even if there was, they are not things that are made with money. they are made with openness, honesty, time, love and so. much. more.

the share rock has -literally and figuratively- lived in the heart of this house for almost two years. it has witnessed this family open its hearts and home to 'company' hundreds of times -if not more- than the first two years, and rest assured, this is just the begining of something beautiful.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

the making of a mother

12 years ago today, a (very) handsome (not so) little bundle of joy made the mrs. a mother. born as blue as the bunk bed he now sleeps in and in a very far away country, they have literally and figuratively 'come a long way'.

12 years ago the mrs. knew she was blessed, but not exactly how much. watching the firstborn grow from that not so tiny newborn into a funny toddler, loving preschooler, obedient child and now intelligent and hard working preteen has amazed her and caught her off guard. she is blessed beyond measure. beyond her capability of understanding.

eventually the events signaling growth will become more signifigant. his voice will change. his skin will change. the firstborn will drive. graduate high school.  the firstborn will become an adult. go to college. the firstborn will move away. miss family gatherings. the firstborn will fall in love...

the first born will live life just as he should.
 
and just as she should, the mrs. will always think of him as that (very) handsome (not so) little bundle of joy that made her a mother. a very proud mother. even if she is a little sad that he has to grow up...

Thursday, July 21, 2011

summer lovin'

the mrs. happens to love summer. a lot. summer brings out the best in the people who frequent the little white house and the people in the little white house alike.

summer means late nights and abandoned alarm clocks... just because we can. summer means getting down right nasty working in the yard & proudly earning our tan lines the old fashioned way. summer means family get togethers to celebrate milestones and backyard cookouts for no reason at all. summer means neglecting the housework so we can nurture our souls. summer means the water bill doubles quadruples - thanks to the daily use of the slip'n'slide - a definite bargain for the memories we've made.

summer. made more grand because it ends.

tan lines fade. routines restored. sand & mud tracked inside transitions from a symbol of carefree days to just another task on a 'to-do' list. swimsuits & short pants replaced by hats & scarves as summer heat gives way to winter's frigid inevitability. and while winter is not loved, it is deeply appreciated. providing a much needed remedy to a season so full, the mrs. feels as worn out as her favorite pair of flipflops. and she wouldn't have it any other way.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

meet the neighbors

there are plenty of movies and tv shows that deal with this subject. often times over the top neighbors make for interesting subject matter. dennis the menace. seinfeld. friends. desperate housewives. cops.

the little white house only has one neighboring house. a very old grey house. unbeknownst (hopefully) to the residents of the very old grey house, it is a favorite past time of the mrs. and the professor to stand at the kitchen window (that provides a panoramic view of the going ons at the very old grey house) and discuss the neighbors.

it was recently decided that the very old grey house would be the kind of house a screen play writer would use as inspiration. not on a daily basis, mind you, but in the last three years there have been many 'are we really seeing this' moments.

driving circles around ones house.... leaving deep ruts in the yard. standing in the front yard with a shot gun... yelling. knocking down the old shed...with your pickup truck. keeping four, non working pick up trucks in the back yard... and two working ones in the driveway. parking a *beautifully* spray painted 1985 fleetwood camper in the back yard... so your adult child has a place to entertain his lady-friend. washing your car... at midnight, in the dark.

and every day we smile and wave, exchange comments like 'nice weather we're having today' and pray to god that they're not standing at their kitchen window wondering what we're going to do next.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

love at first sight

it happened when the mrs. saw a "for sale by owner" sign being tapped into the front yard of a little white house with a red front door. love. at. first. sight.

it didn't have 3+ bedrooms or a pretty kitchen and seperate laundry room, in fact it didn't have many things on the list of requirements the professor and the mrs. had given the realtor two months prior, but it was love.

it did have potential, and it did have an amazing location. it was in the right school zone and price range. it also came with a looong 'to-do' list. messy things like 'gut kitchen', 'refinish floors'. the professor and the mrs. knew it would be a work in progress for quite awhile, but they also knew it would be worth the wait.

and three years later, there is still a long 'to-do' list, though most of the original items have been happily scratched out. and wether or not the list is ever completed, life in the little white house has proved to be more wonderful than the professor and the mrs. could have ever imagined. it's not because of the little white house or the location or anything material, but rather the people living inside, living their own 'love at first sight' story.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

957

it could be the number of pet peeves the professor has developed since getting married or the number of times the mouth has started a sentance in the last hour. it could be the number of times the dog has run away or the number of times the mrs. has wanted to kill the dog loaded the minivan with children and gone looking for the dog. it could be the number of  paper footballs the firstborn has hidden in his top dresser drawer or it could be the number of times the darling has climbed onto something she shouldn't.

but it's not.

it is the exact size of the house. the little white house, with the red front door. this might be a problem in the future... but for now it works. it works because we make it work. and yes,  that means that there is usually a long line waiting for the bathroom to open up, or that the children have to share one room, or that the mrs. and the professor sometimes pretend to use the bathroom just to be alone. but it also means that we are learning to be patient, and learning to share. and that is why 957 is a perfect number for this family's little white house.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

introductions

the house
little and white. no, very little and not as white as it once was. lovely hardwood floors, in need of a bathroom overhaul and wrap around porch. often has dust bunnies and a sink full of dishes. overflowing with people and love.
  
the mrs.
recovering single mother, lover of instant coffee and mother of three. author of this story, disc golf widow, and first time gardener. loves to sew, hates to capitalize. hates laundry even more. big time dreamer, satisfied with life but not her weight.

the professor
lover of the mrs., hater of all cats, tolerates the dog. drinks instant coffee because thats what the mrs. buys, born and raised within three miles of the house. would play disc golf  all day, everyday if he didn't have family obligations to fufill.

the firstborn
11. a handsome, male child. born older and more responsible than the professor and the mrs. combined. lover of football, player of baseball and not allowed to play soccer after the incident last summer. often forgets that he is not the king of the castle but never forgets how loved he is.

the mouth
4. another handsome, male child. has the ability to talk for hours without stopping to take a breath. vocabulary the size of texas, heart the size of earth, slowest runner you've ever seen. ever. eats like a bird and wears his emotions on his sleeve. a definate keeper.

the darling
18mo. lovely female child. blue eyes and light hair in a family of dark brown everything. toughter than nails, unestablished sleeping habits, shreek that would put mariah carey to shame. sweet, loveable, but is not to be left alone. her power of destruction will awe you. part mountain goat.

the dog
very quiet, laid back despite being part chihuahua. looks like a puppy, likes to lick the mrs.' feet and sleep all day. and night. likes to run away, hates invisible fence, tolerates the darling. would fit in a roasting pan.

thank you for visiting.